Just Ask the Moon

Just ask the moon, you do not have to be whole to shine. The crescent moon is a symbol of resilience and possibility. It shines bright with hopes, intentions and desire.
Just Ask the Moon
Kimba Livesay, Just Ask the Moon, Acrylic on Canvas 24x30x.5, 2021. In Private Collection.

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Perfection Chaser

I’m a seeker of knowledge that leads to inner peace. Always have been. For me, that means to heal all those broken bits by balancing the physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual. But it’s not so easy, especially when you are a perfectionist. In the past I couldn’t be happy until I had a certain number of clients, painted the perfect picture, weighed the perfect weight, or had the perfect friends. I was always chasing perfection by striving for the unobtainable and that just shoots inner peace to hell.

Sliver of Me

On an ordinary late afternoon in December everything changed. One minute I was at Trader Joe’s and the next I was having major surgery. And with that I couldn’t walk, feed myself, take a shower or even talk very much. I was just a sliver of me. As I laid in the hospital bed, I didn’t give a shit about work, painting, my body image or social circles. And even though my light was just a sliver, I could feel my Spirit as it connected to the Divine. If I’m honest that connection scared me a little.

Hot Mess

When you connect with the Divine like I did it can mean one of two things. The first being that the Divine is getting ready to send you to our celestial home. And the second is that the Divine is preparing you for life with a new purpose. Neither of these options are appealing to a perfectionist because both require giving up control. In addition to that, there were a lot of physical challenges, my body would never be perfect. The scars and pain a reminder of the constant imperfection. I was a hot mess. It took me a while to sort it out. I surrendered to the Divine and released my ideas of what perfection looked like. Life got easier when I embraced the present moment with a grateful heart.

A Way to Shine

One night I was outside looking at the stars when I noticed the moon. A voice inside my soul said, Kimba you do not need to be whole to shine. Just look at the crescent moon. There it was this humongous crescent moon with all its hopes, intentions and desires, shining on the whole wide world. That’s the moment I found the knowledge of inner peace. I didn’t have to be whole to shine because I could embody the crescent moon.

Pollyana

I know people who have had similar experiences as me and I know they feel less than whole. The losses are hard and I get it. But I also believe that we have choices. I decided that I wasn’t going to be the victim that perpetually suffered. For my sliver to shine brightly, I chose gratitude, joy, love and kindness. I’m not Pollyanna, I still have hard days. Those are the days that I show myself patience, love and kindness. I focus on that crescent moon.

Finally Whole

My body is far from perfect and sometimes my mind has a little hiccup. I’m okay with being an imperfect hot mess. That shining sliver of Kimba is enough. My crescent moon is playful, authentic, happy, grateful and joyful. My intentions no longer focus on perfection but rather heart felt desires and hope. And you know what? I’d even go as far to say that I am finally whole.

Just As

Crescent Moon

Shining Bright

Lighting my Path

With Hope and Delight

That I too

Am just As

Luminous As the Whole

–Kimba Livesay

  

 

 
Ask the Moon
Kimba Livesay, Just Ask the Moon, Photo 1, 2021

 

Ask the Moon
Kimba Livesay, Just Ask the Moon, Photo 2, 2021

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